By Lindsey Danisch, Registered Social Worker and Psychotherapist

A “successful relationship”: We need to redefine this concept.

For some, this term “successful” is saved only for those partnerships that end in life-long marriage-‘til death do they part. But who is to say that’s the only qualifier for success?

A 3-month relationship, where partners learn about they sexual desires and preferences, is a success.

A 5-year relationship, where you now more clearly understand of the qualities you need in a long-term partner, is a success.

A 20-year marriage that has ended, where you’ve learned to love and let go, leading to more self-discovery and resilience, is a success.

I have clients who tell me they’ve had “no successful relationships” and after a little more conversation, I can see that they’ve had many successful relationships. While those relationships have now ended, the amount of information they’ve learned about them is amazing.

The ability for my clients to reframe their relationships experiences is empowering.

Let’s take back this phrase and redefine what success looks like in relationships of all kinds. Every relationship, no matter how short or long, teaches us something about ourselves and desires. They help us prepare for future relationships-and that’s what success looks like!

 

Lindsey Danisch MSW, RSW

Provider of Psychotherapy